Reclaim Your Self-Worth. And Break Free from External Validation.
Our world is saturated with opinions. We get an over abundance of opinions from friends, family, and… social media. So, naturally it makes sense to find our self-worth tangled up in the judgments and perceptions of others. We often measure our value up against external standards, seeking validation through likes, compliments, or the acceptance of the people who populate our lives.
But why?
Why do we do choose to do this? And where do we even begin to shift our mindset to embrace our inherent worth?
START BY UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS OF EXTERNAL VALIDATION
1. It is normal societal conditioning: from a young age, we are taught to seek approval from authority figures~ parents, teachers, and peers. This conditioning can create a pattern where our self-esteem becomes heavily reliant on external sources. Over time, the need for validation can become ingrained, leading us to believe our worth IS defined by the opinions of others.
2. It is normal to have a fear of rejection: we are inherently social creatures, and our survival has historically depended on our ability to fit into social groups. The fear of rejection or being ostracized can drive us to seek approval, pushing us to conform to expectations at the expense of our authentic selves.
3. We live in a comparison culture: social media has drastically increased our temptation to compare. Comparing ourselves to others has reached insane new heights in such a short period of time. It’s normal to feel the need to measure our achievements, appearances, and lifestyles against curated images of success and happiness. Unfortunately this comparison can leave us feeling inadequate and unworthy if we feel like we don’t measure up to it.
When we place our self-worth in the hands of others, we sign up for emotional turmoil. This dependence on external validation can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.
If someone’s opinion shifts or we face criticism, our self-worth can take a significant hit, leaving us feeling lost and vulnerable. This pursuit of external validation leads to a disconnection from our true selves. We end up compromising our values, interests, or goals to gain approval. And ultimately this ends up creating a life that feels inauthentic.
So… how do you begin to reclaim your self-worth?
Begin shifting your mindset by recognizing that your worth is inherent and not contingent upon anyone’s perception of you!
Understand that EVERYONE has their struggles and insecurities, and most peoples opinions about you reflect THEIR experiences, NOT your value.
Start practicing self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during moments of self-doubt. Acknowledge your feelings without judging them, and remind yourself that it’s perfectly okay to be imperfect!
Start pouring your attention into your own inner validation. Write lists about what you love about yourself. Your strengths, achievements, and the qualities that make you unique. It can definitely be a struggle to write out this list when you don’t feel like anything is worth loving. But I promise you, it is all worth loving!
Find one tiny detail about yourself that you love and hold your focus on it until it begins to spiral, inspiring more things to be added to the list. Reflecting on these aspects regularly can help reinforce your self-worth from within, so, re-read it as often as possible!
Set yourself personal goals! Define your values and aspirations that are outside of other peoples expectations. Set goals that resonate with your true self, and celebrate your progress toward achieving them, no matter how small. Make it a goal to limit comparisons, and be more mindful of when and how often you compare yourself to others, especially on social media!!! It can be helpful to take breaks from anything that causes you feelings of inadequacy. Instead, start seeking inspiration from those who uplift you and share your values.
Surround yourself with support!!! Focus on building relationships with people who appreciate you for who you are and encourage your growth. Positive, affirming relationships can create a strong foundation for your self-worth!
Practice self-reflection! Take time to reflect on your experiences and emotions. Healing Roots~ Be The Change can help you process your thoughts and gain insights into who you are and why, while planting new seeds of change.
If needed: Seek professional support! A therapist can provide valuable tools and strategies to help you create a healthier self-image. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you for needing to seek help from a therapist! Therapists don’t fix people, they fix peoples strategies.
Reclaiming your self-worth is a journey with a beautiful destination. I hope you find it!
By recognizing the roots of your reliance on external validation and taking steps to create a sense of self that is grounded in your own values and beliefs, you break free from relying on the approval from others.
Your worth always shines the brightest when you embrace your authentic self!
