Just a reminder~ insecurities are learned.
Not one single person on this planet is born insecure. Feelings of insecurity are handed to us from our parents, family, friends, the media. A lot of our insecurities are born within the advertisements, and societal expectations that surround us daily. This high-pressure environment teaches us to question and doubt ourselves, often leading us to feel unworthy and disconnected from our true selves.
Think about that for a moment. As a baby, you entered this world filled with curiosity, wonder, and a natural sense of worth. Every smile, every new step, and every everything was a celebration of life. Yet, through experiences, social conditioning, and societal norms, you collected insecurities as part of your identity.
They told you that you needed to look a certain way, act a certain way, or be a certain way to fit in. To be considered normal you had to second guess what felt normal to you. So to “fit in” you picked up insecurities about your body, your abilities, your personality or your worth. But the truth is, this shit doesn’t actually belong to you!! It’s all learned from external forces, and what’s learned can be unlearned… or at least replaced with better beliefs about yourself.
We all hold the power to release our insecurities. Imagine just how freeing it would be to shed these negative beliefs that don’t belong to you. The ones that don’t make you feel good about yourself. The ones that keep you from showing up authentically in your life. All of it gets re-written in the choices you make.
So what choices do you need to make to let go of insecurities?
Choose to Acknowledge Them: The first step is always awareness. When feelings of insecurity arise, don’t suppress them. Instead, take a moment to sit with them and understand them.
Choose to identify their Source: Once you’ve identified the insecurity, the next step is to trace it back to its root. Is it rooted in past experiences, the medias influence, or past comments from others you’ve etched into your soul? Identifying the source gives you the power to start challenging the solidity of your insecurities. Challenging the source helps you create distance between yourself and the insecurity. So ask yourself: “where did this belief come from? Was it from a parent, a peer, society, or an event?” Understanding the source helps you realize how it was conditioned into you.
Choose to challenge their validity: Just because you are feeling insecure about something does not necessarily mean it’s based in fact or reality. Choose to rewrite the narrative. To do this, draw a line down the middle of a blank page, creating two distinct columns. In one column, write down the insecurity you are challenging, and in the second column, write the complete opposite of that thought. Example: “I’m not good enough,” would be written next to “I am constantly growing and evolving, and I am good enough as I am.” Then under each column write out all the reasons you can think of as to why each statement would be true, or false. Through this process there will be a clear winner. This works to help you to uproot your belief in the insecurity, and begin to plant new beliefs in its place.
Choose Focus on what you love about yourself: Make a list of your strengths, your qualities, and everything that makes you, you. This helps shift your focus from what’s “wrong” to what’s uniquely amazing about you. Be kind to yourself. Anytime time you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and choose to replace that inner dialogue with something more compassionate.
Choose to believe you deserve better: You deserve better than the insecurities you’ve been carrying. They don’t define you, and they don’t serve you. You are more than your doubts and fears. By knowing you deserve better you give yourself permission to let go of insecurities, and you plant yourself into a life full of self-love and the freedom to be authentic. You deserve to feel good about yourself, just as you are. We all do!
Releasing insecurities is a journey, not an overnight transformation. But with every step you take, you move closer to a life of authenticity full of self-love. Your confidence isn’t going to come from just thinking differently; it comes from acting differently too.
Our insecurities often hold us back from doing what we really want to do~ speaking up, trying new things, or putting ourselves out there. Try to go against the grain of your them by taking small steps to challenge them. From one insecurity, identify a small action that pushes you outside of your comfort zone. If you’re insecure about your body, that could mean wearing something that makes you feel good! If you’re insecure about your abilities, try something new, even if it’s a small task.
With every step you take against the grain you build evidence that your insecurity is not in control of you, and that is what builds your confidence!
Let go of what was never yours to begin with!! You are enough as you are, and you deserve to live a life free of the burdens that insecurities impose.
Be patient with yourself on this journey, and always remember: the real you wasn’t born insecure.
