Jealousy is a SCAM
Jealously is a sneaky little trickster of the mind. It’s a flat out scam artist. Jealousy, when it surfaces as envy convinces you to settle for less. At its core it isn’t about the person you envy~ it’s about the story you let it tell you behind the scenes. It’s the emotion that surfaces when you have a want or desire, but at the same time decide that you can’t have, do, or be something.
Your belief in that thought… makes it come true...
Think about it like this: Jealousy is a thought that takes root when you see a quality or achievement in someone else that resonates with your deepest desires.
But instead of thinking, “If they can, I can too.” you tell yourself “I’ll never be able to have, do or be that, and that’s not fair.”
Jealousy is the feeling that comes from identifying a desire, and rejecting it all in one. You begin to put yourself down, consciously or unconsciously, while this is never an intentional process, without putting intention in the opposite direction, jealousy is something that will continue to cause you to suffer. The feeling of jealousy starts a chain reaction of thoughts that turn admiration into bitterness. Personal potential into personal defeat.
Jealousy is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can also arise when we perceive something as a threat to something we value (A relationship, social status, a possession etc.) It can be a intense and overwhelming feeling… that often reflects our deep rooted insecurities, unmet needs, or fears. It can surface as a emotional response to a fear of losing something-or someone- to another person. Jealousy can run its scam in personal relationships, friendships, professional settings, and in the echoes of our minds when we think of your own goals and self-image.
So how do you avoid the scam? Jealousy thrives in the illusion that someone else’s successes or qualities diminish your own. It becomes absolute bullshit when you start to pull it apart. You shatter the illusion by recognizing that what you see in someone else identifies proof of potential, not lack thereof. When the feelings and emotions of jealousy run unchecked it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You see the gap between where you are and where you want to be and instead of bridging it, you stare at it and say, “That’s too far.”
Can I tell you a secret?
The truth is that the only thing standing between you and that quality, skill, or success is your belief in your own potential. Stop falling for jealousy’s scam. It’s not a thief, it’s a teacher. When you feel the sting of jealousy, understand that it is pointing you towards what you truly want. Remind yourself that what you admire in others is always a reflection of what’s possible for you.
Jealousy only succeeds at its scam if you buy into it.
The Root Causes of Jealousy
~ Insecurity (A lack of self-confidence or self-worth)
~ Fear of loss. (Anxiety about losing a valued person or status)
~ Comparison (Measuring yourself against others and feeling inferior)
~ Past Experiences (Experiences with betrayal or abandonment)
~ Unrealistic Expectations (Believing relationships or achievements should follow a specific script)
Heal Jealousy from the Roots
1.) Practice Self-Reflection
Pinpoint the source of your jealousy. Is it envy? Is it fear? Is it an insecurity or comparison? Challenge the thoughts surrounding the root. Question the thoughts, and begin to uproot and replace them. “I’m not good enough” becomes “I AM worthy, I AM enough” Explore what jealousy is trying to teach you and reframe your thoughts around the feelings to something more positive and productive.
2.) Build Self-Worth
Practice Self-Compassion, treat yourself with kindness, and acknowledge that everyone experiences jealousy, it is not a character flaw. Focus on your own strengths and shift your attention to your unique qualities and accomplishments. If you have identified a desire what steps can you take to start pursuing it? Recognize that social media and surface-level interactions rarely reflect the entire story. Don’t compare yourself to illusions.
3.) Communicate Effectively
Express your thoughts and talk openly about your concerns or fears. Bring the thoughts to the surface and allow your feelings space to breathe. Often with effective communication these feelings simply dissolve. However, if someone’s behavior is genuinely hurtful, begin to take steps to work on protecting your emotional well-being and peace. Set boundaries. Communicate your boundaries and practice holding them.
4.) Focus On Gratitude
Focus on what you have more than what you lack. Gratitude shifts focus away from fear and scarcity and brings into focus a abundance of good things. The good qualities you posses. The things you have that no one can take from you. The things that add meaning to your life. Practicing gratitude helps these things take root while knocking out negative thoughts.
5.) Transform Jealousy into Growth
Jealousy can serve as a powerful teacher when it is approached with curiosity and self-awareness. Use it as a mirror to identify areas you need to focus on pursuing personal growth. If it is stems from envy, channel that energy into achieving your own goals. Addressing jealousy with honesty and vulnerability in friendships/relationships can deepen trust and connection.
Jealousy is a NORMAL human emotion. That only gains control over us when we fall for its scam. So the next time you hear it chattering away in your head, call its bluff. Turn your envy into action, and your doubts into determination. The truth is, you CAN be, do, and have so much more than you think! Conquering fears and reaching your potential never stops being possible! You just have to stop telling yourself otherwise, and start believing in yourself!
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